Sometimes, I feel like running away. I have this bad 逃避 mentality, which I know I have to change. This mentality was especially strong last Sun. Somehow, I ran away.. I did not know why I did that, and why I had the “courage” to do that. In the past, I would surely not do that, but I’m still “amazed” by what I have done last Sun. Initially, I was supposed to go to the Singapore Street Festival 2007 Closing Ceremony. A huge part of me was really unwilling to go due to its sheer boringness. The entire festival was a huge bore and there were a lot of smokers around, which also contributed to my reluctance. I loitered around the stage at Cineleisure, and only noticed one guy whom I did not know near the stage. I had a feeling that everyone was at the backstage, not bothering at all with what was happening on stage. Bad. It just increased my reluctance of not going to the festival. So I went off shopping at Orchard Road (the Great Singapore Sale just started), without reporting for duty. I stayed in Kinokuniya for hours (I was amazed by that as well), as then went window-shopping in some shopping centre. Only bought 1 laptop carrier in the end, with my very pathetic shopping powers. I only informed the person-in-charge about my absence from the festival that day at around 8pm, after I left Borders. She did not reply me, but I knew what was done was done. There was no turning back. I really could not tolerate myself being such a “coward”, a person who cannot face the reality but instead kept running away. I hate coming out of my comfort zone and though I’ve done it from time to time again, eg going to SMU, I often let this come back to me. I’m not sure if my reluctance to go to the festival will come back to haunt me. After all, I have only attended 3 out of 14 days, clocking 31h, which was enough for my community service. What I was afraid was the appraisal they would give me. Eeks.. But when I was there helping, I did not mess up or screw up anything. I did help them, so I still did something good right?? It’s time for a change really. Stop running away..